As report­ed ear­li­er, today Oba­ma will unleash his lat­est exec­u­tive order, one which will set the stage for “infor­ma­tion shar­ing and analy­sis orga­ni­za­tions” (ISAOs) — or, in polit­i­cal jar­gon “hubs where com­pa­nies share cyber threat data with each oth­er and with the Depart­ment of Home­land Secu­ri­ty.”  In reg­u­lar par­lance, what Oba­ma will do is mere­ly cod­i­fy the sec­ond com­ing of the Patri­ot Act, which as Reuters put it, is “leg­is­la­tion to require more infor­ma­tion-shar­ing and lim­it any legal lia­bil­i­ty for com­pa­nies that share too much.” In oth­er words, the Kiss You Pri­va­cy For­ev­er order. But don’t wor­ry: it is for your own pro­tec­tion. You See, thanks to these ISAOs the North Kore­an swat team of hack­ers will nev­er again reveal that the man­age­ment of Sony Pic­tures is a bunch of racists and that they make such bad movies that they need the US gov­ern­ment to help sell them.

And now, pre­sent­ing Obama!

Sor­ry about that, wrong par­al­lel universe.

Heeeere’s Oba­ma!

(By click­ing on the play but­ton you agree to have your infor­ma­tion shared with not only the NSA but Apple, AT&T, Ver­i­zon, T‑Mobile, Cis­co, Google, and well… every­one else)