Bureaucrat Man saves the day again

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You may not have real­ized it, but you are reg­u­lar­ly being swin­dled by your wash­ing machine.

That’s right. Accord­ing to Bureau­crat Man, by using too much ener­gy your wash­ing machine is steal­ing mon­ey from you each month.

Of course you already have the option to buy a more ener­gy effi­cient wash­ing machine to save your­self mon­ey. Or… you could make the bold deci­sion to sim­ply be more effi­cient with your laundry.

But who could pos­si­bly be expect­ed to make such deci­sions on their own?

Unlike Bat­man, Bureau­crat Man doesn’t wait for the Bat Sig­nal before he acts.

Whether or not you call, he’s there—now with 189 pages of new reg­u­la­tion to save you.

Spec­i­fy­ing require­ments for front-load and top-load machines, no crooked wash­er is safe from his watch.

Nev­er mind the fact that in sav­ing you mon­ey, he’s cost­ing you money—as the costs of com­pli­ance with the new reg­u­la­tions are passed along to you. It’s worth it, he says.

What’s more, with this new rule, Bureau­crat Man is pro­claim­ing that he is also res­cu­ing the economy.

How can it be that increased reg­u­la­tions ben­e­fit the economy?

Accord­ing to the legislation’s eco­nom­ic impact assess­ment, the econ­o­my will be stim­u­lat­ed in two ways:

  • First, since peo­ple will be spend­ing less on ener­gy, they will be able to spend more of their incomes on oth­er things.
  • And sec­ond, with peo­ple made to spend more on new wash­ing machines—this will cre­ate more jobs in wash­ing machine production.

But wait… don’t those two things con­tra­dict each other?

How can peo­ple be eco­nom­i­cal­ly bet­ter off both because they can save mon­ey and because they will have to spend mon­ey… It just doesn’t make sense!

But, hey, Bureau­crat Man can leap tall log­i­cal fal­lac­i­es with a sin­gle regulation!

And you can’t deny that jobs will be cre­at­ed by these new regulations…

They just won’t be in the wash­ing machine pro­duc­tion indus­try. They’ll be in bureaucracy—because someone’s got to enforce all the new regulation!

This doesn’t both­er Bureau­crat Man. For in his mind, every­thing he does is good for the people.

Thus, this rene­gade super­hero acts alone. He doesn’t need the help of law­mak­ers in Con­gress to take action. He can just imple­ment this as an admin­is­tra­tive rule.

That said, it car­ries the same weight and effect as a law. Fines, penal­ties, punishment.

And if you don’t like it, tough luck. You should have known about this rule, and you had months to make your opin­ion heard.

Wait—are you say­ing that amongst the thou­sands of pages of leg­is­la­tion that comes out dai­ly you didn’t see it until now?

So as you go out to pur­chase your next wash­ing machine and wince at the increased costs from infla­tion, tax­a­tion, as well as these new reg­u­la­tions, don’t for­get to thank Bureau­crat Man.Bureaucrat-Man-Swashbuckling-Washer1